Despite land ownership and properties, women consider farmers as unemployed and seek partners with IT or government jobs
In the last eight years, Santhosh has been rejected as a marriage prospect by families of at least 100 women in and around his district. The 35-year-old farmer with about two acres of land in Talakadu village, located 140 km from Bengaluru in Karnataka, has been relentless in his search for a partner — but in vain.
The only reason for the rejections, he said, is his profession. Potential matches who come to Santhosh’s family refuse to take things further once they realise his poor income and financial instability, he added. “Girls these days want a partner who works in an IT firm or has a government job and lives in Bengaluru. They do not want to live a rural life and soil their hands on the farm.”
Like Santhosh, there are hundreds of farmers owning land of size ranging from one acre to more than 25 acres. But their profession has become their biggest hurdle to having a companion, the community feels.
Thirty-two-year-old Mallesh from Nanjangude village is a part-time farmer who also has a fabrication business. Despite having three houses, three 1,200 sq ft plots, and three acres of farmland, he struggled to find a bride.
“I got rejected at least 50-60 times despite having a strong financial background,” he said. He considers himself lucky to have found a bride after four long years and married in February earlier this year.
Down To Earth (DTE) visited villages in Nanjangudu taluk in Mysuru and Malavalli taluk in Mandya district, where the issue is more prominent. These regions are fertile and have adequate irrigation facilities due to their proximity to River Cauvery. Farmers mainly grow sugarcane, coconut, sunflower, cotton, ginger, maize and lentils.
Manjunath, a local from the village, said the issue has mainly increased as young farmers are less educated and focus their lives on agriculture. “Some men who migrated to the city for education and found jobs were preferred by women who are often more educated than their village male counterparts,” he explained.
He added that unstable income with farming and lack of education make them unwanted by women. He shared:
Moreover, a woman has to work in the field, attend to family members, and do household chores, which they are unwilling to do anymore.
Discussions with villagers revealed that women in Mandya district work in garment or other factories nearby. But their preference has now changed from agricultural work to blue or white-collar jobs.
The issue is dominant among the Vokkaliga community who are into agriculture. Another reason for fewer women prospects is probably the skewed sex ratio in the region. According to National Family Health Survey figures, the sex ratio of rural women per 1,000 males was 931 in 2019-20 and 910 in 2015-16.
In Mandya, it was 1,122 and 1,148, while for Mysuru, the figures were 1,077 and 1,008 for the corresponding periods.
However, the reality regarding the farming community seems different. In 2023, Sri Adichunchanagiri Mahasamsthana Mutt, a religious institution headquartered in Nagamangala Taluk, organised a mass marriage ceremony for the community.
Dhananjay, a native of Mandya district, said that as many as 10,000 men registered for the event while women comprised only 250. “This shows not only how women are not interested in the community but also reflects the poor sex ratio,” he said.
He added that female foeticide is still active in the district despite the central government banning sex determination decades ago. “In the past two years alone, there have been multiple instances of sex screening rackets busted in the district,” he said.
As per news reported by The Hindu in May 2024, an ambulance driver and his wife, working as an assistant in Pandavapura government subdivisional hospital, were found involved in illegal abortions.
During the same month, Mysuru police arrested 17 persons, including government medical officers and staff, under the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act, following a CID report.
In December 2023, the police exposed a prenatal sex determination racket spread across Bengaluru, Mandya, and Mysuru district where a doctor and his lab technician were involved in nearly 900 illegal abortions in three years.
But the issue is less spoken about, or villagers deny it being one of the reasons for not having enough women in proportion to men.
Mallesha DP, 32, with three acres of land in Devipura village, told DTE that men are now willing to venture out of caste for marriage, pay bride-price, cover wedding expenses and even name a portion of land for the prospective bride.
“But convincing women and their families has become a challenge. I have a house, washing machine, TV subscriptions, refrigerator and other facilities that exist in the city. Still, it has become difficult to convince the families,” said Mallesha, who has seen rejections from at least 30 women.
A graduate in arts, Mallesha said that even widowed and divorced women are hard to find as they get married within a month once they become single. “We cannot blame women for choosing a comfortable life and ensuring financial security. But there has to be a way out,” he said.
Mallesha and some other bachelor farmers founded Akhila Karnataka Brahmacharigala Sangha to come together and create awareness about the issue. They carried out a 120 km Padayatra or foot march in March 2023 towards Male Mahadeshwara temple in the hope of raising awareness and believing their prayers would be fulfilled. But out of the hundreds of bachelors who registered initially, only about 100 joined the yatra due to social stigma.
Shankar Nayak from Devipura said his friends from a similar age group and even younger men with higher education have got married. “We feel embarrassed to attend any village events and often get laughed at for our situation,” he said.
Shankar, who has turned 40, has given up and stopped searching for a bride. “As a farmer, we are considered unemployed. Poverty adds to the problem. We do face depression, frustration, jealousy, and other mental pain. But there is no point wasting time over it,” he said, adding that he gave up his effort around 2020.
This reporter tried to talk to a few of the women from the area for their comment but they either said they are not comfortable to have a conversation or let their family members do the talking.
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